Do you remember the honeymoon stage? I'm not talking about your relationship with your significant other. I'm referring to your relationship with your piano*!
Whether your physical keyboard or piano has changed since you started your musical journey, there was likely a period of time when you first started lessons when everything was exciting and new. You couldn't wait to get home and play those keys. You checked off practice days or completed pages with vigor because it was naturally inspiring! No one needed to remind you because it was at the top of your mental list of priorities. Perhaps you even told others around you about your new endeavor.
At the time, it seemed like that inspiration would never wear off. You likely had big dreams, big goals, and long-term plans for the progression of your musical skills. But like all new relationships or hobbies, in time, the luster faded.
*Although I will use piano as the instrument of choice in this blog post, this information applies to ANY instrument!
Here are some signs you are in a practicing lull:
You have to force yourself to sit down and play the piano
It feels more like a chore than an enjoyable activity
You feel stuck on the same pieces or measures for a long time
It feels like you've hit a wall in your progress
You've ignored your practice goals or your piano altogether
You have considered quitting lessons or reducing your commitment
You feel guilty, discouraged or unmotivated when you think about practicing the piano
If you identified with a few of those signs, I have good news for you! This is a normal and expected part of your musical journey and there is no need to feel down on yourself. Most importantly, you don't have to quit. Your teacher understands and you should be kind to yourself as well!
Let's talk about cultivating a long-term relationship with the piano.
As with any relationship, there will be ups and downs and nobody should expect every moment to be rainbows and butterflies. And as older couples will tell you, those feelings will return and mature into something beautiful to last a lifetime. You can foster a long-term journey learning the piano, and the rewards will far outweigh the challenges.
Motivation vs Inspiration
Motivation is taking action based on a fear of a negative consequence if you don't.
Inspiration is taking action based on the joy of a positive reward it you do.
Want to know why practicing daily felt so good at the beginning and feels like such a chore now? There's your answer! At first, you were running on pure inspiration. The wonder of each new discovery was such a delicious reward it had you naturally focusing on the positive.
It's natural for that 'high' to wear off and leave us with an ordinary task.
I'm reminded of a trail I walk regularly. I remember the first time I discovered the urban hiking opportunity by accident. I was smiling the whole way. How had I missed such a lovely little urban oasis so close to my home for so long? It didn't feel like exercise to explore every mile of that trail--I was acting on inspiration (the pure enjoyment of the experience was its own reward).
Fast forward two years to today when I just walked the same trail. Headphones on with a podcast, head down, get it done. I embarked purely for the purpose of my physical and mental health, and I couldn't wait for the end of the trail so I could get on to the next part of my day. I was acting on motivation (fear of the negative effects of not getting outside and moving my body regularly).
Working Through a Lull
If this is resonating with you so far, I would love to offer some advice as someone who has played the piano actively for 36 years. Those years have been a mix of motivation and inspiration that have brought me to where I am and I wouldn't change a thing looking back.
Things to Remember During a Lull
It's nothing you did wrong
It's not a reason to quit
It doesn't mean that the piano is not for you
It doesn't mean that you're not good at the piano
It doesn't mean you can't progress
You're not failing, even if you've taken a few steps back
Lulls don't last forever
It won't always feel this way and inspiration can and will return
Your teacher has been there and will understand and help you
It's okay to take a break instead of quitting
Piano takes years to master--unless you've been at it for at least ten years, do not judge your skill/talent level yet
Anyone can learn the piano, even adults, even busy people, even lazy people, even unmotivated people, even YOU!
Come Back, Inspiration!
Unlike everything else under the sun, inspiration cannot be delivered from Amazon in two days. However, inspiration CAN be found! And can return when you least expect it.
Remember that urban hiking trail I mentioned? Although today's hike was less than memorable, there have been moments on that trail in the last two years that have literally taken my breath away or brought tears to my eyes. Moments I would not trade for anything. Conversations with my father who passed away recently. Birds I didn't know lived in my state. Other unexpected encounters with gentle wildlife that would not normally venture too close to humans. Suddenly realizing how breathtaking the sky was that day.
I had to show up, sometimes when I didn't want to, in order to receive those rewards. I had to look up to see the birds and the sky. I had to quiet my thoughts to receive the inspiration. My point is, I took small actions to invite the inspiration back in. Sometimes that's all it takes.
In the next section I'll dive into ways to keep showing up to the piano on those less-than-inspiring days, but before we go there, let me share some suggestions on where to look to rediscover inspiration:
Listening to music
Singing your favorite songs in the car
Sight-reading new pages or books
Going (window) shopping for a new piano or a new book of piano music
Attending a live performance, even if its not piano
Visiting a college music building at a peak "practice room useage" hour
Daydreaming about being at the skill level you'd like to be in five years
Write a "piano bucket list" of pieces you'll play someday
Watching a YouTube video, either performances or how-to music videos
Brewing your favorite cup of coffee or tea and just sitting at your piano (don't spill!)
Redo or rethink your physical practice space
Talking to another musician about their journey
Book a one-time lesson with a different teacher in town
Join a piano group on Facebook or find an accountability outlet
Inviting a young child to play their instrument for you
Spend time in nature or meditation for a mindset more easily that invites in inspiration
Habit Forming For Long-Term Growth
Now here's the thing about those inspiring moments on the trail...I had no way to predict which days would be just a walk for the sake of a walk, and which days would be life-changing. But if I would've given up on the trail the first time I felt uninspired, I would've missed those moments completely.
So let's talk about showing up.
From my own experience I know that forcing yourself to spin the wheels on an activity you are continuing out of motivation only (lacking inspiration) with no change and no mindfulness will almost always result in quitting. Like a diet containing only foods we don't enjoy, eventually we are going to quit because our tendency is to want to enjoy life--imagine that!
In other words, don't just force yourself to practice those 30 minutes a day that you originally committed to, the same pieces you've been spinning for weeks or months, if you're not enjoying it at all! You don't have to "power through," my friend. There is another way.
Unlike repeated drudgery without change, simply showing up while still seeking and expecting inspiration is a key component in a long-term relationship with the piano.
Showing up will look different for each musician. Here are some suggestions to get your mind spinning on the topic.
Showing up may look like...
Continuing to attend regular piano lessons without guilt even though you are not practicing as much as you "should"
Talking to your teacher about taking a break, but setting a date to restart lessons and sticking to it
Setting aside 5 minutes a day to practice. Yes, just 5 minutes. Set a timer.
Committing to sit at your piano daily, but you do not have to play anything. Open the lid, turn on the light, but then just read, listen to music, journal, meditate, breath, or just be present.
Play your piano daily, but take a break from all of your current studies. Find something completely different (and inspiring) to play around with for a few weeks with no set goals or expectations.
Doodle, improv, or write your own song instead of practicing.
Take a detour from your current practice goals to learn a completely new skill--arpeggios, lead sheets, chromatic scale, trills, etc.
Take a break from piano altogether, but read a book about music (fiction or non-fiction). Use your set-aside practice time to read instead of playing.
Create a spreadsheet or calendar you can print and keep by your piano allowing you to track tiny goals over the course of 30 days.
Try a tangible goal and reward. I made this little book that may be a fun way to facilitate this!
Final Thoughts
In the end, doing something is better than doing nothing. Don't become your own worst enemy by letting guilt or lofty expectations keep you from showing up in small, manageable ways for long-term growth. Piano is by no means a quick achievement! If you expect too much too quickly from yourself, you may burn out and achieve very little in the end.
Be kind to yourself and be honest with yourself and your teacher. Make realistic mini goals on the way to inspiration and remember to look up every now and then. ;)
advice for the parent of a piano student
If you are reading this as the parent of a student who appears to be struggling with their practice commitment or has lost their love for the piano, you can help them stick to the path by being their support and encouragement.
But keep in mind, forced inspiration is not a thing! And the journey must be their own.
Here are some tips on supporting a long-term journey as a parent:
Be flexible with expectations
Be honest with the teacher
Make the physical practice space inviting and conducive for inspiration and exploration
Invest in new resources as recommended by the teacher
Invest in a new instrument if possible
Encourage creativity
Allow for breaks
Forgive missed goals
Play music of different genres and instrumentation
Attend performances with the family
Try something new: if you've been an active part of practice sessions, try backing off; if you've been mostly hands-off up until now, try taking a more active role in practice sessions and gage the results
Ask the teacher for additional tools, resources, or ideas
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